Well Duh...

Sometimes these studies kill me; I really hope we taxpayers are not paying too much for some of this crazy research.

The most recent one that made me go “for real” is the study that determined physical warmth is related to emotional warmth.

The study analyzed people holding warm and cold things in relation to their interactions with others. For example, people holding a warm cup of coffee are more likely to be friendly to others. Alternately, people who drink a cold drink or sit on a block of ice are less likely to give a crap about the other people.

Seriously? I could have saved the researchers a great deal of time and money just by explaining the logic. One genius even stated that mental processes are not separate from the body. Thanks Einstein…how much did that theory cost?

When the body is warm, it is relaxed, when it is cold, it is tensed up in an attempt to store the warmth. How on earth is one supposed to be friendly when their teeth are clenched and chattering from cold? If I were cold, enough I would have no problem telling the Pope to rot. However, if I am nice and toasty warm then I am relaxed and cuddlier. Hence, the term “warm and fuzzy”…there is no term involving cold and fuzzes or cuddles...look it up. Nope there isn’t. We have cold as a dead fish, cold as ice, cold as a witches tit (odd one that), but no fuzzes, no cuddles.

Stayed tuned for the next study…”Do Bears Actually use Charmin Toilet Paper Whilst Pooping in the Woods?”

Highfalutin’ Homeless…

McCain assures us that he is focused on the economy. McCain and his running mate have apparently forgotten that economic crisis equals frugality in spending and smart savings. Perhaps McCain should send Palin to a smart spending class and teach her how to focus on the economy.

$150,000 has been pilfered from the RNC account to cloth Palin and her family. Holy crap!!! I am a frugal person who would not spend over $20 on a pair of jeans; $150,000 would get me 7,500 pair of jeans. I would have jeans for 75 lifetimes. The $150,000 was spent since August, which is only three months. I could not spend that much money on clothes in my entire life. In fact, with my clothing budget at a max, I would take 150 years to spend that kind of money.

Apparently, discount stores are not suitable for the Palins, they have been shopping in the likes of Sak’s and Neiman Marcus. Admittedly, we certainly would lose respect for a candidate running about in a sweat suit but after all, she is the all-American soccer mom…wink wink.

One of the donor’s to the campaign said that due to the Palins modest means as well as the short notice of the nomination, he thinks it is reasonable to purchase a new wardrobe. However, let us not forget that Ms. Palin is currently holding a public office. One would assume that she currently had clothing to wear. She must have, it gets pretty cold up there in Alaska…you betcha!

Therefore, we are supposed to believe the fiscal idiot nominated for potential Vice President is going to help get our economy back in line. Evidently, Ms. Palin specializes in economics by feeding money back into the system on over priced clothing.

Alaskans’ should be mildly irritated on their own. Another article relates the travel expenses charged to the state for her children’s travel to some events they were not even invited to. The Palin children do not travel cheap either, nothing but luxury hotels for them. When I traveled with my folks, I was crammed into the back of a Toyota Celica with my siblings and slept on a pull out couch in a one-room hotel, and that was high style then.

Fear not, we have been assured that all of the clothing will be donated to charity after the campaign. They will deliver the clothes using the bridge I am selling them in two weeks. There are going to be some well-dressed homeless people out there folks. The money would be more appropriately dispersed if they were to find 300 people and give them each $500. The homeless could then purchase good meals for 25 days; I do not think pantsuits are high on their wish list. But hey, who said logic was important when running the U.S.?

Huh? You Sound Muffled...

To those of you still on the fence waiting for a definitive response on who is going to do what to fix the economy, get off, you may hurt yourself waiting.

What struck me about last night’s debate is what the “common folk” were actually looking for. The post debate interviews showed people who wanted specific answers on how the candidates are going to fix the economic mess we are experiencing. “My friends”, no one has that answer. We are so screwed right now that there is not a good definitive answer. In fact, our intrepid government “friends” thought the current bailout bill (recovery bill McCain? Please) was going to miraculously make everything all better. Think logically people…how in the hell could we unscrew eight years of idiocy with one stupid bill? Duh

However, I suppose the people who want the instant fix are the same moron’s that signed for their house and “did not know what they were signing”. I would love to see one candidate have the balls to say “hey ‘my friends’ you screwed up, figure it out”. I understand the predatory lending argument but honestly, “guns don’t kill people, people kill people”. Take responsibility for being an impatient greedy society.

The hypocrisy is overwhelming in this country. Folks do not have a problem pointing a finger and calling the fat cat executives greedy but keep in mind, most of the finger pointers are the ones that put themselves in a house they could not afford to begin with. Hello kettle…”your friend” the pot here.

Therefore, in my humble opinion, until Americans wake up and accept responsibility for their own actions, it will not matter what plan the candidates have, we will still be screwed for the next eight years or so. “Say it ain’t so Lori…are you sure?”. You betcha (wink wink).

Thought experiment time. The economy is in the crapper and folks are being foreclosed on and paying higher prices for gas. Therefore, we can assume that money is tight. However, credit is still there for some. Folks are not going to deny little Johnny his activities because that may damage him or make him responsible. In order to support little Johnny’s ego and avoid tantrums, Mum and Dad will be turning to what little credit is left on their cards. Around January or so, Johnny’s folks will not be able to pay the credit card bill. Oops…there go the credit card companies in the toilet as well. Imagine what 2009 will be like when people have no access to liquid cash at all.

One more note relating to this cartoon like campaign. I found the delegate votes very interesting last night. According to CNN’s Electoral Map Calculator Obama currently has 264 votes compared to McCain’s 174. Additionally, either candidate only needs 270 electoral votes to win the presidency. So again people, do your votes REALLY matter???

Stay on the fence, jump over it, jump through it, I cannot care anymore…just make sure you do not damage your grey matter if you land flat on your ass.

Things I HATE...

So, o.k. I have accepted we live in an instant society but I don’t have to like it. I am tired of the acronym ASAP (which in my mind stands for Assholes Suck At Planning) and those little red exclamation points on emails drive me insane.

Why do assholes think their priority is more important than anyone else’s is? Will the planet implode if the bloody invoice does not get out today? Seriously, in my line of work (accounting) there are NO emergencies…none. Brain surgery maybe, rocket science more than likely, Senate decisions most definitely but not freakin accounting.

The author apologizes for the personal rant. The above is something she promised not to do on this blog. However, appease your irritation with the knowledge that many ignorant lives were saved through the venting of the author. Thank you for your patience.