I TOLD You So...

I am not even going to deny it...I LOVE that phrase because I LOVE being right.

I posted earlier about the waste of time in visiting Mars AGAIN. I believe the challenge was to determine which picture was Mars and which was good ole Georgia red clay. I have been vindicated.

According to a report on CNN.com (here) the first testing of the soil that the lander pulled from the barren planet is remarkably similar to the soil found in backyards on Earth. Apparently scientist have discovered they can plant asparagus, green beans, and turnips on the far away oasis. Imagine produce prices then!!!!

So HA!

Friday Funny...

List of the day pointed me to this ad on Craigslist...hilarious.

Ferocious Attack Kitten (Portland)
Reply to: mailto:comm-733066123@craigslist.org?subject=Ferocious%20Attack%20Kitten%20(Portland)Date: 2008-06-26, 1:20AM PDT

Ferocious attack kitten is available for adoption to any home willing to accept him.

This destructive kitty has been trained as a proud warrior and will fiercely defend your house, even against you. Well-trained since 10-weeks of age to attack anything in his presence, he will protect your family from evil things, including the following:

* insects

* other trained attack kittens

* babies * toilet paper

* anything under a blanket

* unwanted house guests

* paper bags

* floor rugs

* Chuck Norris

* Feet.

Great with children (assuming you don’t like the children). Probably best used for professional catfighting. He is housebroken, but only because he wants to be. This attack cat has trained himself to seek out his food anywhere you hide it and rip the bag open to feed himself, great for those who travel extensively. Also trained to drink water out of toilet bowls and dishwater from items in the sink. Knows how to open some doors. He will find you wherever you hide.

Neutered (trust me, you wont want to him to procreate). Has not been declawed, but you'll figure that out really fast.

Understands and responds to a variety of vulgar and profane verbal commands. Has a very soft and furry belly, like a teddy bear - however he will bite your face if you try to touch it.

Willing to accept trades. Potential adopters must have experience with trained attack-kittens... please be prepared to show scars.

For the love of God, someone please take this thing out of my house.

It's Official...

The “officials” of our country are delusional. Literally…

Recently, the Saudi’s agreed to produce 200,000 additional barrels of oil a day to meet the “demand”. This move should help to reduce gas prices…right. The move would be successful if demand were the only issue involved. However, as prices are ridiculous, one would assume that demand has in fact been reduced (in consuming countries). That assumption comes from simple logic.

Astoundingly, the Suadi’s agree with me, how cool is that! In fact, according to King Abdullah, the crappy American dollars, as well as the greedy market players taking advantage of the guaranteed hike in gas prices are the major factors hiking up prices. Both of these assumptions make perfect sense to me however, according to our crackpot “officials” the logic presented is a load of crap.

Our “officials” are citing an increase in demand of developing economies as well as the additional taxes of consuming countries. I am unable to accept the lame argument of the U.S. “officials” in light of everything else our country is currently experiencing. I admit that these are factors in the prices, however; they are minute at best.

It would appear the “officials” are adopting the elephant in the room philosophy. The question is why? Are they pretending the obvious does not exist out of pride, or perhaps they do not want to show weakness? Would it not make more sense to accept the obvious than look like buffoons to the entire world?

Even quasi-intelligent people like me understand that continued talk of wars with Iran, the less than stellar economy, and the pitifully weak American dollar are the real problem. If the “officials” continue to ignore the elephant, I hope they keep their mouths shut. You know something is dreadfully wrong when the King of the country that produces the largest amount of oils says, “There is no justification for the (high)…price(s)”.

Our officials need to focus in another direction to gain control of America’s downward spiral. My next goal is to determine the parallels between our current situation and the downfall of the Roman Empire. I know they are there…stay tuned…

Info derived from http://abcnews.go.com/WN/PainAtThePump/story?id=5221828&page=1 .

Fallen Idol...

I can count how many people have genuinely effected my personal growth on one hand. George Carlin occupies the forefinger of my right hand.

I remember the day I was able to get my own video rental membership. I zipped down to the store with phone bill and license in hand and promptly rented all of the George Carlin videos in stock. I sat for hours absolutely enthralled by the genius in which Mr. Carlin melded words together and made them funny. It was the day that the word “fuck” became my favorite word. Although, the “f” word is not so lady like, when used properly, the word can inject belly laughing humor. Mr. Carlin injected the word with brilliance.

Much to his credit, Mr. Carlin did not depend on crass language to be funny; he also stimulated our intellect by looking at everyday things around us. Mr. Carlin made us realize how silly we can be driving our cars, how inane our government can be, and how ridiculous religious zealots are. He made us think and laugh at the things most would not discuss in polite company. He was truly a genius.

Mr. Carlin can also be credited with removing verbal barriers when he faced the FCC in 1978 (http://www.georgecarlin.com/dirty/dirty3.html ). His original seven dirty words landed him in jail but the case was eventually dismissed breaking new ground for public speech.

I am not good at eulogies; I just wanted to take a minute to thank the forefinger of my right hand for allowing me to view the world intellectually with just a hint of cynicism. Thank you Mr. Carlin…I hope the afterwards is all you expected.

“We’re all fucked. It helps to remember that.” –George Carlin

Head is Where...?

Do the collective "we" even pay attention? I would have to believe that if a masked man where to come into our homes wanting to rape us and steal our money, we would do something. Scream, rant, kick, bite...

MrM brought yet another irritant to my attention that I am not sure everyone is paying attention to. I watched a senate hearing on the matter; well I had to turn it off as my delicate gastro system can only handle so much stress.

Anyhow, we can all agree that gas prices are killing us correct. Not just at the pump but in the grocery stores and other necessities.

See if this makes sense. In a previous post, I provided a link on an article discussing a record number of Americans stealing from their retirement to make ends meet. That would indicate they are needy. On the flip side we have oil companies that make billions of dollars in profit (billions!!!) in addition, they receive tax relief from our esteemed gov't on said profits. However, when the needy Americans earn some extra cash, we are taxed more. Just the basic logic alone should be enough to send anyone into a psychotic rage.

Well recently, the democrats decided that the oil companies should pay tax on their profits...sounds logical to me everyone else is
( http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/feedarticle/7576014 ). However, the republicans decided that no, that would be unfair. According to the republicans if the oil companies had to pay tax on their profits the prices would increase even more and reduce the quest for domestic oil alternatives. And of course, republicans pockets would not be as padded.

O.k. first, the oil companies have no incentive to modify prices now...increased profits and no taxes...hello. So just a quick accounting lesson. The average business owner inevitably wants a decrease in profits by the end of the year because they do not want to pay TAXES! Therefore, the average business owner has incentive to turn money back into the company to make a better more affordable product. A company does need profits but the average business owner has to claim that profit through efficient processes as well as customer service not through gouging their customers. Market prices for the average business owner are dictated by the economy...and supply and demand. Hence the problem with gas prices taxes on profits (or lack thereof) have nothing to do with it.

Secondly, have we seen ANY progress in the quest for domestic oil alternatives? I will admit, digging up green space in untouched areas does not appeal to me but I have not seen where all these billions of dollars have made any kind of alternative evident.

In an ideal situation, we would be able to tell the oil companies to piss off. However, fuel is a necessity in our lives. Therefore, it is our cares takers (gov’t) responsibility to ensure that we are not gouged.

It is “we” that have our heads firmly planted in our butts. The collective “we” could do something. Perhaps we can’t fight the oil companies directly but we could fight our local gov’t for alternative transport options. My town is very pedestrian and cyclist unfriendly. In fact, one has to ensure their insurance policy is up to date prior to venturing out on foot. Additionally, public transport is not an option for everyone. Oh we could also stop buying gas guzzling vehicles...if we don't then the motor companies have no incentive to develop alternatives. Extract the head people and do something.





We should be doing something…rant, kick, bite…scream rape.

Fear Not...

So, prior to continuing to making Americans look bad to our European neighbors, the current shrub in charge spoke about the current economy.

I shall paraphrase; essentially, the shrub told us that even though gas prices are psychotic and the economy looks terrible we Americans should remember that we did get the economic stimulus ( http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/7443964.stm ) dammit...so quit your whining.

I am so relieved that the current shrub in charge had such a ground breaking plan to relieve the economy. That $600.00 I received will allow me to fill up 12 times at the station. And that is at current prices, "they" are saying that prices will continue to soar. Oh and let us not forget...we will be paying that stimulus back in 2009.

Fear not though, the shrub does not rest on his laurels. He has a good plan to beg for assistance from the European countries in... Afghanistan. Oh and if you can keep your food down whilst listening to his speech (I find pepto helps) you will also note that he is planning on pushing to dig up the continental shelf to extract more oil... another big "f" off to those who believe in global warming. Scientific proof...pshaaw.

But rest assured, according to the delusional shrub, the U.S. economy continues to grow in these trying times. That is why reports state that a record number of Americans are dipping into their retirement funds to make ends meet ( http://www.boston.com/business/articles/2008/06/06/more_dip_early_into_funds_for_retirement/ ).


So, as I am again being humiliated by the representative of my country to my neighbors in Europe, I have decided to adopt an English accent... lovey.

I Wonder...

Oooo, clandestine meetings between the two democrats. Well duh...I mean according to the platforms of both candidates the goal is to remove the republicans. So it only makes sense that they team up in some way. I actually hope the female runs for V.P. I would then be less nervous about the other ones agenda.

I find it humorous that every election Americans say the same thing "there is no good candidate to choose from so we must choose the lesser of the evils". I suppose it would be nice to have a "none of the above" option but good grief, we would never have a president then. I will say, each election people I hear state something like the aforementioned phrase imply that the current election is the only one like that. Frankly, I can't remember a time where the general population was thrilled with the candidates. However, I am glad I was alive to see the worst president in history take office. We now have a baseline because who could be worse (insert eerie music here...).

I was thinking (I heard the collective "uh-oh"); are there any emergency provisions in the constitution for the extension of a presidency? These thoughts suck for me because now I am going to have to pick through the stupid constitution. If not I will go mental.

I ask this question because I don't think the current shrub in charge is going to go quietly. I have this "feeling" that some type of drama will occur right before he is to be out of office. So I wonder if that were the case, would he be able to extend his stay? What happens under marshel law? We saw that the last time marshel law was in effect the government was able to invade our personal space. As a matter of fact, I think they still are...says the paranoid one who uses code names.

I Need a Nap...

I will repeat...I should have stayed awake in history class.

I am constantly bothered by the phrase "separation of church and state". The reason this bothers me is because I am seeing a melding of the two lately. However, I didn't truly understand the phrase...so I Googled it. I am glad I did. I first set out to prove myself right (I have a reputation to uphold). I proved some of my points but I also had to concede some.

I originally believed the statement "separation of church and state" meant that both organizations were to stay out if each others business. What I did not realize is that the phrase was developed to keep the State out of the church's business. The following article: http://www.allabouthistory.org/separation-of-church-and-state.htm explains that in an effort to avoid state denominational religion, the state promised to allow Americans their choice of religion and stay out of the church's business. However, Christian Theism was the assumed state doctrinal religion. Interesting stuff...there goes my argument for abolishing the ten commandments from government buildings.

So, I have admitted my error. Now, on to the rant. Although religion is not legally forbidden from entering into politics, the IRS only allows tax exempt status to religious organizations as long as they do not govern political activity (http://blog.au.org/2008/04/28/tax-facts-irs-reminds-churches-about-rules-governing-political-activity/). My question is, how much more governing activity does the IRS need before they withdraw the exemption status.

Here is one example: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d5SEsKPLZ1U it is on video for Pete sake not much investigative need here. Do not become clouded by the link of the preacher to the new democratic presidential candidate... who cares about that. Just focus on the fact that a preacher (who is usually looked up to by parishioners) is attempting to sway (brainwash)political opinion on his pulpit. Oh wait....here is another one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hAYe7MT5BxM good grief...he even mentioned the opposing candidates name! Those are just from this campaign, the same thing was occurring during the current shrub's campaign as well.

So, where is the line? How much more do they have to say before their tax exemptions on property and income are revoked? Folks, we are talking millions (if not billions) of dollars of taxes that we peons make up for. If you or I violated the tax code you can bet the IRS would be on our doorstep. Oh but don't let me disparage the IRS...they are after all sending letters (see above article).

Maybe the napping during history was a good thing...education gives me an ulcer.

Oh My...

Sometimes I think I should have stayed awake in History class. The theory that the mind absorbs knowledge whilst resting is complete b.s.

Did you know that there are no term limitations for the Vice President of the U.S.?

This election, like the last two, bothers me. As far as I am concerned, the last two were fixed and the way our "democratic" election process works means that we have no say at the top level. I will clarify (because I usually get flak for that statement). If we, as voters, concentrated on electing the proper delegates, we might actually get a president that we want. Otherwise, forget about it.

So, here is what I think is going to happen (in my humble opinion of course)... the old candidate (I don't want to use names and end up on "the list") is going to have the shooter (you know...the current vp) for his running mate. That way the shooter can still run the country. I think the male democrat (aka confused one) is going have the female democrat (aka hubby beater) as his running mate. And I also think we are screwed either way.

The confused one has an agenda and it is not in our best interest. If he gets in then some strange stuff will happen. Honestly, my statements have nothing to do with skin, just small comments and actions on his part. For example, wasn't he the one who would not conduct his swearing in with a Bible? He used a Qur'an if I recall. While I understand tolerance and I am by no means a religious fanatic, do not flout the rules. So the delegates are going to put a guy in charge of the country that does not believe in the rules? Oh and let us not forget...the dummy actually used the words "typical white person" in a sentence.

Then we have the old one. I challenge anyone to convince me that the old one and the current shrub in charge are not in bed together. News reports say that they are purposely avoiding each other. Hmmm...so I think we have all worked in an office where co-workers are having an affair. What do they do? Go out of their way to avoid each other!!! If the old one gets in, we are looking at another shrub shooting administration. He has the same agenda as the shrub and we will experience a depression. As a matter of fact, I am convinced the money people schedule depressions to keep us in line.

Say what you will about the hubby beater, at this time, we need her and her beaten hubby. The hubby was brilliant with foreign relations and the beater has already run the country for eight years. We are currently in an economic crisis and they would be the ones to help us out. The confused one certainly won't, he is talking about aiding Africa...huh? Is there actually money left from invading Iraq?

Well my blood pressure is up...hypocrisy has that effect. I find it funny (not ha ha either) that as a country, we go out of our way to force democratic change upon other countries. At least the governing powers of other countries are honest about opression.